“Oh Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me…
You know what I am going to say
Even before I say it, Lord…
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
Too great for me to understand!
…You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!”
Psalm 139: 1, 4, 6, 13, & 14
Nothing about me surprises God. In fact, all the quirks,
desires, and pieces of my personality make me the unique being that God
designed! How can I not put an exclamation mark at the end of that sentence!?
So when praying about where God will lead me next, my personal values are a
good starting indicator. HE has placed those values in me before I was born! HE
knows how they will make me think and talk and walk!
Even though God’s Word says I am complex, it would be easy
for me to make a decision for myself based on my top desires. The situation
increases in joyful complexity when we are a family of 5. My husband has
personal values different from myself, and our 3 kids likewise.
Karl and I benefit from doing a Personal Values
Assessment—a tangible way to identify and define individual values so we can
better understand not only ourselves, but also each other. It does wonders for preventing
arguments when you can clearly articulate your unique complexities.
The assessment that we took was given to us by a counselor
for Christian missionaries,
and it takes into account that we already share the core values of
and it takes into account that we already share the core values of
1. Laying down our lives in surrender to Jesus Christ, and
2. Committing to make Him known to the ends of the earth.
All the other parts of our lives stem from
this, and we walk the path of faith together.
At the same time, we are
different people, with unique traits. The unique values of our personality are
as follows:
My top 3 personal values:
1.
Where we live—the physical place = what it looks
like, feels like, and what’s outside my window; making a space for rest,
inspiration, welcoming others, and appreciating God’s beauty. All of this impacts my daily well-being. We've served in a lot of places, I can say with confidence that my favorite place in the world will always be Texas.
2.
Family Togetherness = Our family of 5 + my
parents and siblings + grandma + best friend who feels like family + all the extensions--aunts, uncles, cousins,
nieces, nephews, etc. The whole crew is extremely important to me. Being apart
from them is painful. Other people may highly value their family relationships
while still living apart. I value togetherness. It’s why when homeschool days
are long and hard, I still stick with it, because being together is a core
value.
3.
Community = professional + spiritual + social
relationships. I’m a HIGH extrovert. Relationships—good, refreshing, playful,
and inspiring-- are needed for me to thrive. I learn best by observing others, not
reading books. Community is vital to my personal and spiritual growth.
Karl and I share only 1 top core value.
Karl’s top 3 personal values:
1.
Recreation. Karl likes to laugh, he likes to run outside, he likes to relax with a good book or movie. For him, a mix of these things is necessary to keep him easy-going. Karl is rarely stressed, but if he ever experiences
stress, it is usually because one of these elements of recreation has been
choked for a season.
2.
Community. Karl is slightly more
introverted than myself, so he thrives with fewer relationships that are deep
and loyal. In order for it to be a truly refreshing relationship for him, it
must incorporate his top value of recreation.
3. Variety/Balance. When Karl takes a personality test, he scores right down the middle. "Even Steven" was his nickname in college. Karl can sit down with a
spreadsheet and work it with excellence. He can do that for two weeks. If he
does it for two months, he wants to jab his eyes out. He needs to balance the active with administrative, the face-to-face with the behind-the-scenes. He has thrived personally
because of his job with Cru that has allowed him to make his days different and
make his seasons different.
I value variety and balance too, it’s probably in my top 5. But it
doesn’t beat the top 3 for me. Karl loves his family, but his proximity to them
doesn’t affect him the same. And where we live—the house, the city, or nation,
actually makes no matter to him AT ALL. This is something that I just can't relate to, since for me, it is the top matter.
Our difference in personal values is why I refer to our potential next step as places, and he refers to them as jobs. The job is more important to
him, the location more important to me.
When we were making a decision in 2008 of our next phase of
life, we found a location/position that matched ALL SIX of our top values. Slam
dunk!
We are again approaching a season of decision, although this
time, there are several options before us, and no obvious slam dunk. That's because there is more
to discerning God’s will than personal values, which I will get to in further
memoirs.
What are values that He has knit in me?
What makes me smile, energized, eager to persevere?
What brings out the best in me?
What, how, where, and with who do I walk best with the Lord?
Reflection:
What are ways that God has made me wonderfully complex?What are values that He has knit in me?
What makes me smile, energized, eager to persevere?
What brings out the best in me?
What, how, where, and with who do I walk best with the Lord?
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